I told myself when I started this little blog that I would write when I felt like it and only when I felt like it. When I felt like my words were there...when I felt like what I had to say was worthy of being re-read or repeated. I've taken quite a bit of time off of here because that's what I needed. Sometimes I think it would have helped by writing, but I wouldn't want to go back and re-read those thoughts - depressing, angry, betrayed, sad, self-sabotaging thoughts. All things not worth repeating. But I am ready now. Ready to write the things out that are on my heart. Ready to put myself out there and share myself with the world again. I am fully in control of what I put out into the universe and I have learned to release the control of how others interpret my words. So if you're here, welcome. And if you're struggling with something hard or trying to calm all the racing thoughts in your head, let me share what a sweet friend told me during some of my roughest...
When you become a parent, no one tells you about all the hard parts. I'm not talking about the sleepless nights, the crying for hours, or the fact that losing the baby weight can sometimes take years. I'm not talking about the teething, the "terrible twos" or even the grocery store tantrums. I'm not talking about the hours of screaming in long car rides, the battles over food or the endless outgrowing of clothes. I'm not talking about the sassy attitudes or the frustrations over doing school work. Nope, none of that is relevant here. I am talking about the other hard parts. The big feelings, the borrowed time, and the fact that your heart is forever living outside of your body. I'm talking about the tears of disappointment when they fail their first test or lose their first game. The heartbreak of a first love. I'm talking about watching them ride off to school on the bus for the first time, or dropping them off and waving goodbye as they walk away....
"She has the perfect life." I am quite positive that I have thought these words out loud. Wished them over and over with hopes of future existence. Had that "I wanna be like her when I grow up" daydream. And yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds. But it's true. I mean, she really is perfect. She has the perfect hair. The perfect smile. The perfect laugh. She is a free spirit and dances to the beat of her own drum. She is carefree and adventurous. She lives life on the edge. She pushes buttons and talks back...and always stands up for what is right. She is a fashionista to the max. She even looks adorable in sweats with messy buns! She is a strong and independent and I am just in awe of her everyday. She is my daughter. Some would say that I am giving her a complex by calling her perfect. I would say that I agree, if that was something I said to her face. But I don't. She doesn't hear that she is 'perfect' from me. And if you ask her what per...
It's late, but I hope your Christmas was amazing!
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