Friends, do you have a tribe? Do you have people there to catch your fall, to listen to your ramblings, to love you fiercely through life? If not a tribe, do you have a person? That one support person that is there for every high and every low? Someone who knows you better than you know yourself? Someone who never leaves? If the answer is no, then let me be your person. I will walk with you in the trenches and help you claw your way out of the darkness. I will be your voice when you feel so broken that you can't speak. I will be your compass when you feel lost and alone in the world. I will be the wall you can lean on when you're tired and you can't stand. I will sit with you in silence and I will celebrate every victory. I will hold your hand while you cry and I will hug all your broken pieces back together. Let me be your person and I will help you build your tribe. Everyone needs a tribe and I am so grateful for mine. A simple text. A short video message. A quick FB...
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I never met you. If all the pieces and roads that led me to that very place, that moment, hadn't happened. I think back to the few weeks prior when my life was headed a different direction. I wonder what life would be like now, had that detour happened. Sometimes I wonder where we would be had you not left. Would we have made it, then? Would our lives look like our plans and dreams that we thought? I wonder where our journey would have taken us, what memories we would have made and what adventures we would have experienced. I wonder where we'd be at today. Sometimes I wonder if you miss us. The dynamic trio. I wonder if you miss the fun we had and the memories we made. I wonder if you thought about him growing up and wishing you could be there too. I think he would have loved you. I wish he could have known you. I wish you could know him now like you did back then. I sure miss you and I wonder if you miss me too. Sometimes ...
I told myself when I started this little blog that I would write when I felt like it and only when I felt like it. When I felt like my words were there...when I felt like what I had to say was worthy of being re-read or repeated. I've taken quite a bit of time off of here because that's what I needed. Sometimes I think it would have helped by writing, but I wouldn't want to go back and re-read those thoughts - depressing, angry, betrayed, sad, self-sabotaging thoughts. All things not worth repeating. But I am ready now. Ready to write the things out that are on my heart. Ready to put myself out there and share myself with the world again. I am fully in control of what I put out into the universe and I have learned to release the control of how others interpret my words. So if you're here, welcome. And if you're struggling with something hard or trying to calm all the racing thoughts in your head, let me share what a sweet friend told me during some of my roughest...
It's late, but I hope your Christmas was amazing!
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