Sit with your Thoughts

Hey stranger. Long time no talk. I hope you are well. 

It's about 6:50pm local time and pitch dark outside. I am sitting here in my car, listening to the rain tinging on the rooftop and watching it create the most interesting river on my windshield. Its a soccer training evening for my girl and usually I use this time to run errands, but today I'm choosing to write. I'm choosing to sit and be still with my thoughts, and let the words just flow through the keyboard.

So much has been going on and time seems to be flying by way too fast. It's January 2023! How did we get here already? I wish there was a way to just pause time. Slow the world, the weeks, the days down just a bit. Make it all stop... If only.  

As I sit here in the cold car, I find my mind spinning in so many different directions. From current life circumstances, to events of this past year, to the excitement of new opportunities that the new year holds, and all that's in between. There's just so much. I think about the things last year brought me; both good and bad. I think about the trips I went on, the vacations I took and the memories I made with my loved ones. I think about the heartaches, the failed relationships and the chaos of certain things. I think about the excitement of sitting in the stands, watching my son in uniform playing on the high school football field doing what he loves, and the way he would look for me and give me a slight wave or thumbs up from the sidelines. I think about the smile my daughter had on her face, grin from ear to ear, when they put the medal around her neck as her team finished runner up in a fall soccer tournament. I think about today, my cancerversary day, and celebrating 11 years of beating the disease that tried to take my life. I think about my sweet friend who lost her decade long battle just a few short months ago. I think about how lucky I am to be finishing year one at a job that I love and how grateful I am to have met the most amazing friends at. I think about big decisions and changes that are on the way. I think about how lucky I am to live in this beautiful place that I've called home for almost two years now and about all the many places I have yet to explore here. I think about how much I miss my parents and family back home. I think about all the things...but mostly, I think about how truly blessed I am and I think about all that is yet to come.

Friends, have you ever sat with your thoughts? No hustle and bustle. No one around. No narrative or purpose. Just you, in the stillness and the silence with your thoughts.

My advice...do it. I'm finding it quite therapeutic and thinking that I need to do it more often. I won't wait so long for next time. I promise.   

xoxo,
T