The Hard Parts

When you become a parent, no one tells you about all the hard parts. I'm not talking about the sleepless nights, the crying for hours, or the fact that losing the baby weight can sometimes take years. I'm not talking about the teething, the "terrible twos" or even the grocery store tantrums. I'm not talking about the hours of screaming in long car rides, the battles over food or the endless outgrowing of clothes. I'm not talking about the sassy attitudes or the frustrations over doing school work. 

Nope, none of that is relevant here. 

I am talking about the other hard parts. The big feelings, the borrowed time, and the fact that your heart is forever living outside of your body. 

I'm talking about the tears of disappointment when they fail their first test or lose their first game. The heartbreak of a first love. I'm talking about watching them ride off to school on the bus for the first time, or dropping them off and waving goodbye as they walk away. I'm talking about late night conversations that you'd wish would last for hours. Slumber parties with endless giggles and then silent sleeping beauties. Nerf gun wars that leave your house looking like a battle field...only to wake up the next morning and it's all over. I'm talking about losing best friends, moving away, and growing up. 

I'm talking about the days that pass by and the time you don't get back. The arguments you could have avoided and the tough lessons, that at the time seemed worth it. The games that you missed, the nights you didn't tuck them in, the angry words you said out of frustration when they were pushing your buttons. I'm talking about the times they asked you for ice cream and you said no because they didn't finish their dinner. The times you thought grades were the most important thing. The times you couldn't fix their pain and you just held them but it wasn't enough. I'm talking about the moments that over time, your mind forgets. 

I'm talking about the hush of a quiet, clean house...which once was bustling and messy. The little hands that are no longer there when you reach out. The messy faces you used to wipe and the sibling rivalry you used to referee. I'm talking about the soccer bags with rancid shoes being left in your car. The football gear that is strewn from one end of the house to the other. I'm talking about slamming doors and the shouts of "sorry mom" as they run up the stairs and slam it again. I'm talking about feeling like a taxi and the never ending mounds of laundry. The piles of dirty dishes that appear after you just cleaned the kitchen. The wet towels left on the floor. I'm talking about the many hours of overtime you worked so that they could play the sports and afford to put a roof over their head. 

I'm talking about the summers of adventure that suddenly end because now they spend it away at camp, and you're all alone. The nights around the campfire, laughing and making s'mores. I'm talking about the time they get into a car and drive away for the first time without you. Praying that they will make it home alive. I'm talking about your first baby graduating from high school and moving away to college. Never will you live under the same roof...and trusting that they are going to be ok.

Those are the hard parts. 

Friends, embrace the journey of parenthood. Hold on to them while you can, kiss away their tears, and make sure everyday you tell them how special and important they are. Make sure they know how much you love them, even if it drives them crazy. 

Because one day, you're going to miss the hard parts. 

xoxo,

T